Ahhh….space.
Space to move around, personal space, living space….just space. Oh, how I miss it.
Seriously, I am constantly bumping into Bobby and other things that are jammed into this itty bitty room we’re temporarily occupying.
Space is a pet peeve of mine. Especially personal space. Or should I say, people who invade my personal space. You know who I’m talking about. The people that get all up in your grill when you’re talking to them or standing in line somewhere.
Them. Those people.
So I’m going to rant for just a bit about these people. You know, these invaders of our personal space. But hang on. Because I’m also going to offer some very good and useful unsolicited advice to bring an end to this personal injustice!
We all know these people. Maybe it’s you and you don’t know it.
So, here goes…
In my world we all have this invisible shield around us…yeah, I know it sounds kinda sci-fi…but nonetheless it’s there. Some call it personal space. Some refer to it as their own little bubble. Hey, call it what you want, just respect it. There are too many people that seem to forget it exists or maybe they don’t know about it.
Well, I’m here to say, back the eff up people!!
I’ve had it with these clueless people that keep infringing upon the invisible, yet obvious, personal space that surrounds me. Unless and until you are invited in, KEEP OUT I say!! You don’t need to be right in my face in order for me to understand or hear what you’re saying!!
Closer doesn’t mean I’ll hear or understand what you’re saying any better. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. Because you’re so damn close I can’t concentrate on what you’re saying and all I’m thinking is, “Back the eff up!! Can’t you see that you’re too damn close!!”.
And if we’re not speaking to each other and maybe, oh I don’t know, you’re a stranger…lets say we’re in line somewhere…how about keeping an appropriate amount of distance between us?
Quit with the encroachment already.
Geez, I feel like I oughta be an NFL referee, throw a penalty flag for encroachment and give a 5 yard penalty just so you’ll back up. Seriously people. Once Bobby and I were at a theme park we like to visit regularly and we were standing in line for a ride and this woman behind me kept bumping into me. It wasn’t even that crowded. Four times this happened.
FOUR people.
There was plenty of room for her to keep some space between us. But what did she do? Every time I tried to reclaim my personal space by moving forward she would inch closer and invade it. I was so stinkin’ irritated. Bobby just gave me the look that says “Calm down, don’t over react”, which actually just irritated me more. I was not over reacting. It doesn’t take bumping into a person four times to realize that you’re too damn close. But apparently this chick was oblivious to any wrong doing on her part.
So the first time she bumped me I let it slide…hey, I’ve bumped into someone before because I wasn’t paying attention.
The second and third time I was in full flip out mode but I could see the panic in Bobby’s eyes as he silently solicited my patience…which I was fresh out of at that point.
The fourth time she bumped me I shot her a look that warned I was about to lose it on her if she did it one more time…
just one more time…
go ahead I effing dare you lady!!
Needless to say she got the point, apologized for that last time she bumped me and kept her distance.
I’ve been told my steely glare has that effect. Hey, sometimes silent communication is the best kind.
But seriously, it shouldn’t have taken four times and my steely glare for this chick to get the picture. Back up people. A little freakin’ breathing room would be nice.
For those of you that don’t get it, let me offer some helpful tips to avoid being an invader of one’s invisible shield, personal space, bubble. For those of you that get it but maybe know someone that doesn’t and don’t know how to tell them, just forward this to them and maybe they’ll catch a clue. Maybe the light bulb will go on when they’re reading it and they’ll say, “hey, that’s me” and we’ll have one less perpetrator in this world…wooohooo!! One of my life’s missions will be accomplished…yay!!
Okay people, so read on and pay attention.
✔ If you can smell the other person’s breath then guess what?? You’re too close OR they have some pretty funky breath OR both. Either way, offer them some gum and put some distance between you by taking a step back.
✔ If the person you’re talking to takes a step back…STAY PUT…STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE..you are too close. This is not an open invitation for you to move in closer. It is, in fact, a nonverbal communication that you are too damn close for comfort. Hence the other person stepping back.
✔ If there isn’t about 2 ½ feet between you and the person you are talking to…yup, you got it…you are in violation of being an invader of one’s space…BACK UP.
✔ If you bump someone while standing in line somewhere then you’re breathing down their damn neck…and speaking from experience they can probably feel your hot breath on them. Which is, both, gross and irritating. By now you should know what to do, but I’m gonna tell you anyway. Apologize for bumping them and BACK The Eff UP.
✔ If you’re a touchy-feely person, don’t just go putting your hands on anybody and everybody. Especially if you barely know the person. Pay attention to their body language. If they withdraw at your touch, then back off. If they seem uncomfortable after being touched, then back off. If your strong suit isn’t reading body language then you can always ask if they mind that you’re touchy-feely. Or if that’s too forward for you wait until they initiate the touchy-feeliness. But don’t assume because you’re the touchy-feely type that everyone is. Again BACK UP and keep your hands to yourself until there is a clear invitation for physical contact.
If you found yourself a little bit uncomfortable as you read the tips above, it could be because you’re an invader of one’s space and didn’t know it. It’s okay. Rejoice now that you’re aware and vow to never do it again…yay!! You must always be mindful of the invisible shield around you and others.
Respect it.
Cherish it.
Love it.
Protect it.
Okay people, I need you all to spread the word!! Together we can bring an end to this personal injustice!! Together we can rid the world of these violators of our space!!
Ahh…I feel better now. I just had to get that out. Bitchy?? Yeah…probably…but that’s just how the bitchy side of me feels about my personal space. There. It’s said and now it’s out there. Now I can go back to being nice….for a while at least.
